It was our anniversary and we needed something memorable to happen. I mean in the sex department. He had been working far too hard and thus, he was rarely hard. I had to take matters into my own hands. Literally.
We needed a real date. We decided to go to a local wine bar to sip our favorite zin. The place was cozy enough and usually had live music, which if it was outside, was charming. Otherwise, the sound was deafening and not great for romantic chit chat.
As I planned for the evening, I decided to wear something tantalizing. It’s a fine line between slutty and sexy, at least in public. I pulled out my short black pencil skirt and an off the shoulder top, which I think is always sexy. Laying the items on the bed, I wasn’t totally thrilled. I needed something more, something that would amp up the night. We hadn’t made love, well exciting love, in too long and I was ready for something to make my toes curl. Setting the scene was important so off I went.
I went to Sassy Girl, a sex store. They call themselves a romance shop. Whatever. I think like a guy in this department; romance without sex is just teasing and I don’t like going to bed with my thighs pulsating. Who does?
Anyway, Sassy Girl is fantastic and one of the places I duck into. The other is the liquor store. Though I am kind of over that one and hold my head up a little higher, snubbing Deep South morals, Sassy Girl is one of those places everyone goes to (or should!) but doesn’t talk about. I am beginning to wonder more and more: why not?
I could spend hours in that store. Like a kid in a candy store, I find it all educational and tantalizing and walk slowly through each aisle, never wanting to miss a thing. They have everything a person needs to put a little spice in your sex life without looking sordid or tacky. Decorated in Parisian pink and black toile, they display all their costumes, lingerie and toys with the panache of Nordstrom’s.
The sex toy department seems to grow each time I am there. I wonder what else can they invent? What other part of the body can be tickled, vibrated or slapped? What else can they find to do such things? I love asking the girl who works there what this or that is for. I really don’t know though I am getting better about piecing it all together, sometimes I need a little tutoring.
I cringe at her matter of fact explanations and frankly, she seems like she doesn’t really like sex. Perhaps like working in the bakery and you become immune to the delightful aroma of bread, she is immune to the wonders of all those toys.
Honestly, sex toys used to scare me. I was afraid that if I had something that vibrated or massaged me to orgasm, I wouldn’t need my husband anymore. I am sure he was worried about that too but when he was in control of the tool and was able to not only make me come every time but record speed, he renamed my favorite BOB. Battery Operated Buddy. Yep, they are on first name terms.
I love sex games. Dirty talk turns me on; dirty meaning talking about sex in a way we wouldn’t do in public. These games demand the reading of cards and carrying out certain acts. That’s hot! I actually a game at Goodwill, once. Unopened, mind you. I couldn’t buy used sex anything so to get this brand new game for one dollar was a real coup.
Lubes are another thing I find exciting. It isn’t that I don’t have my own love juices, but a lube is ultra slippery and frankly, much more exciting for both my husband and me. I picked out a new one: pina colada. He’d taste like a big, warm pina colada lollipop. Just thinking about it created a buzz between my legs. I inhaled deeply to steady my breath and looked to see if I was being watched. I didn’t need the clerk seeing me get all hot and bothered in her store, though that would probably be quite a compliment.
I made my way to the clothing. I am continually enthralled with costumes and lingerie. I am a lingerie junkie. I think wearing it turns me on as much as him. I stumbled upon a pair of black fish net pantyhose. The model pictured wearing them on the package had the most perfect butt I have ever seen. Then, I noticed that they were crotchless! My heart quickened thinking of how fun those could be. I had found just what I wanted and made my victorious purchase.
Once home, I took a warm bath and read a little pureotica erotica just to get me in the mood. A good soak to make sure everything is spic and span and getting my head in the game is always good. I mean, if athletes have to visualize the game, why don’t we?
I dressed carefully, not to snag my crotchless hose. They looked fabulous. I bent away from the mirror, mimicking the lady on the package. While I didn’t have a perfect butt, it looked good and my husband would love it.
Slipping into my skirt and black heels, I snapped on some gold hoop earrings. I looked in the mirror again just to make sure I looked as planned. I looked pretty good, but then I started thinking. That is usually trouble for me. I thought, oh my gosh, here I am in crotchless pantyhose and a short black skirt. What if I fall and the whole world sees I have not panties on? What if we are in an accident. Will the E.R. doctor snicker with knowing or find me a slut? I’m wearing a wedding ring. Doesn’t that make this all kosher?
Down girl, down! Mind your mind, I kept telling myself and starting laughing at my worries. I spritzed a little Sex and the City cologne on, for good measure and waited for him to come home.
I heard the door open and my husband walked in. I was standing in my most vampy pose and he smiled that sexy smile that still melts my heart.
“Come here, you” he said and reached for me. His kiss was unusually deep and I could tell he had as much need as I did.
He already looked great in his black trousers and mock turtle neck. His dark hair looked like it did when he left, not a wave out of place.
“Ready,” he asked?
“Give me one minute,” and I grabbed my purse and went to the bathroom.
Pulling out my phone I hiked my skirt up and bent over revealing my crotchlessness, snapping a picture. Dear Lord, if anyone ever sees this picture I will die, I thought.
The drive was only a short distance and the setting sun lit the fall leaves on fire. We walked hand in hand into the wine bar. I then noticed I was really tense…sexually. When I spend all day thinking about our evening I am so cranked up and I am like a sixteen year old boy! I was ready to rock and roll.
The wine helped slow things down a bit. We sipped our favorite bottle and ordered the wine platter to munch on. I didn’t want dinner because I don’t like to eat too much before a romantic evening. Makes my belly bloat and God forbid we would look bloated!
When our first glass was drained, I excused myself to go to the ladies’ room. While in there I sent him a picture text of what wasn’t under my skirt, the picture I took at home. I typed a note, “ Easy access. Just keeping it simple.” I pushed the send button and left the bathroom.
While walking back to the table, the text vibrated in his pants and I saw him pull his phone out. I sat sweetly, as he read. He looked up at me, leaned close.
“You don’t have undies on?” he asked with delicious surprise.
“The picture says it all,” I answered.
I felt that little buzz between my legs just knowing he was intrigued. I reached my hand over to his lap and ran my hand slowly up his thigh. Rooting around for evidence that he was turned on, I found what I was looking for. I searched the room and found all the other people where either looking the other way or distracted. I boldly rubbed him and felt his bulge grow bigger.
“Ummmm, it’s like my personal genie bottle. Rub and he shows up.”
My lips touched his ear just a little as I whispered. This turns him on…giving him goosebumps. We continued with our cheese and tease for the next thirty minutes.
“Ready?” he asked, but it was more of a command.
“I am,” I said and felt as if I was gliding to the door. My crotchless panties left all my desire slippery and silky. The cool autumn air licked the wetness, creating a brisk stimulation. I was loving this crotchless hose thing.
He opened the door for me and I intentionally bent over, as if to search for something on the car floor. I hiked my skirt up to reveal just a bit of what was promised in the text. So cheeky of me, wouldn’t you say?
“Careful there, missy. We might not get home.” He threatened.
“Oh, my, well, that would be quite horrible, wouldn’t it?” I said with an animated southern drawl.
He grabbed my hips and rubbed his bulge against my butt. I could feel his steel hardness and rubbed myself into him a little. His fingers slid around the opening of the hose, finding a well of excitement wet his fingers. He hmmm’d and searched more, slowly sliding his finger against my swollen bud and the silky petals that surrounded it. I arched on my tip toes and bent lower to bring my butt up higher.
His eyes were looking around to make sure no one was coming but his fingers were busy, taking his longest finger and slowly moving it in and out. My lower lips were smacking with the little suction sounds as he moved deeper and deeper. I wanted something bigger, longer.
The night was very dark and most of the patrons were still in the wine bar enjoying their glasses. With the briefest of pauses in his seducing, he knelt down and let his tongue take over where his fingers left off. His warm, probing tongue licked me from behind, as if I were an ice cream cone. The quick flicks of his tongue made my body go a bit limp and I wasn’t sure if I could remain on my toes any longer. Ducking lower he penetrated me with his tongue and suckled my clit. That was it. My fingers dug into the leather seat and my legs became a wobbly mess as waves of electric flowed through my body.
When the final tremor stilled, I straightened my body and turned to him. He kissed me, his mouth smelling of my sex and his tongue dove deep down my throat as a reminder, we were not done.
“Let’s go to the back seat,” I suggested and opened the back door.
“No, right here,” he said hoarsely. His dark eyes looked angry but I knew that as desire…raw, disturbing need for me.
Holding the top of the car door jam, I spread my legs and bent over slightly. I heard him unzip his pants and my mouth began to water.
“Turn around, look at me,” and he pushed me to sit down on the seat, with my legs hanging out the door.
He was swollen and hard and frankly, beautiful. He looked like a Roman statue didn’t. they were always limp. He stood firm and ready and I swore it was pulsating, with a heart beat of its own. He stood and waited, watching me admire him, then waited for me to take him in my mouth. I did so gladly, but only after teasing him a bit. I licked his head, flicked the juicy slit that crowns it and tasted him in small licks before taking the whole of him in my mouth.
He gave me a few minutes to adjust to his enormity and then he began to thrust. I could feel the ridges of his hardness as he worked my mouth. Just when I thought he would come, he stood me up and turned me around for back entry. Like a well trained dance partner, I got to just the right angle for his height. Clawing at my skirt he thrust into me with bit of frenzy. I pushed my rear as far into him as I could and he crashed deeply. With a quiet shout he came and froze, holding himself in me until he slipped out.
We kissed a bit and I sat down in the car. Zipping his pants he moved to the drivers side and closed the door.
“You are a sassy girl,” he said.
“You have no idea!” I replied and started focusing on the hard pina colada to come.

